


Left

by paragraph (ebcdic)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Discussion of Abortion, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mpreg, Past Relationship(s), Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebcdic/pseuds/paragraph
Summary: Ian leaves behind some stuff.





	Left

**Author's Note:**

> Ian/Mickey is in the past. I have a weakness for Lip/Mickey, sorry not sorry. :)

The test was supposed to be administered to every boy when they hit puberty. It was a simple check of hormone levels followed by an ultrasound if necessary. Carriers had a different mix of hormone levels than other males, a hallmark of the additional organs and change in structure to existing organs, which allowed them to bear children. While there was extremely high correlation between being gay and being a Carrier, without the test, it was impossible to really know.

Needless to say, Mickey and his brothers never had the test. They weren't doing it for free, for one. And for two, there's no fucking way Terry would ever even entertain the thought of his sons being faggots, much less faggots who could carry babies sired by some other faggot. The one time Iggy even vaguely mentioned it, Terry broke his ribs. So Mickey just assumed that even though he knew he was a fag, he wasn't that type of fag. 

He and Ian were pretty fucking stupid when it came to condoms. Even assuming that Mickey couldn't carry, it wasn't like they were faithful to each other all the time. At the beginning because Mickey refused to admit he wanted to be monogamous and later on because Ian cheated. So they should've been using them anyway. But, fuck, in the beginning they weren't even really using lube all the time. Besides, it always felt better when they didn't use condoms and Mickey really liked the feeling of Ian's come inside of him.

They didn't use condoms that night on the baseball field. Ian may have had problems getting it up since going on the meds, but not that night. He took Mickey twice, just like old times. Who knew it was also going to be the last time though? Not Mickey.

He thought it was just because he was so heartbroken at first. They had split up before and it had hurt, but this seemed really final. So if he felt like shit, he had a reason. But it didn't go away. He kept throwing up and he was on edge all the time. Even Iggy, who usually laughed off Mickey's grumpiness, seemed concerned.

"Dude, you need to lay off the sauce. Or whatever you're taking," Iggy said as he watched Mickey puke into the toilet. 

The thing was, Mickey hadn't had anything to drink since he started getting so fucking sick, weeks ago. And he hadn't done pills or anything else since before even that.

"Fuck off," Mickey groaned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Iggy tossed him a wet washcloth. Mickey used it to wipe the sweat off his brow. The coolness felt fucking awesome. He watched Iggy play with the latch on the door. Anytime his brother was nervous, he messed around with random shit.

"Out with it," Mickey sighed.

"You know how we were supposed to get that test done when we were kids?" Iggy finally spit out.

Mickey paled. "No. Fuck no."

"Hold on a sec." 

Iggy disappeared from the doorway. Mickey could hear him banging around Mandy's old room. He tried to pretend this was all a dream. Or some sick joke. Mickey wasn't cut out for kids; look at Yevgeny. Jesus, if he's pregnant, Yevgeny isn't even his. He had the classic Milkovich eyes though. Probably Terry's. 

"Here."

Mickey looked up just in time to catch a box and prevent it from hitting him in the face. It's a fucking pregnancy test. He flipped Iggy off just out of habit, but then forced himself to stand up. 

"What are you gonna watch me piss now?" Mickey asked with raised eyebrow.

Iggy held up his hands and backed away, closing the door as he went. Mickey opened the box and glanced at the instructions. Pee on the stick and wait. The former was easy, the latter not so much. His fingernails were practically bloody by the time his watch said enough time had passed. He couldn't look at it. He was such a fucking pussy. 

"Iggy!"

His brother stuck his head in the door. Clearly he had been waiting right there the whole time. "Yeah?"

He looked at Mickey, frowned, then stepped into the bathroom. "What's it say?" When Mickey didn't answer, Iggy gingerly picked up the test from the edge of the sink. His face stayed blank as he put it back down, wiping his hands on his jeans. 

"You're pregnant, man," Iggy said with a shrug.

"Fuck." Mickey slid back down onto the floor. He didn't know what to think, what to feel. 

Iggy crouched down in front of him. "I know I haven't always been like the best brother but I'm gonna be here for you this time. Just stop fuckin' cryin' 'cause I can't handle that shit, man."

"I'm not fucking cryin'." Mickey reached up to find his cheeks wet. He felt hysterical laughter bubble up in his throat and escape. "Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck," Iggy echoed with a sympathetic smile.

**

Mickey thought about getting an abortion. He didn't know a single fucking Carrier to talk to about this shit. He knew plenty of women in the 'hood who had babies and/or abortions, but he didn't feel comfortable talking to any of them. Soon he'd be basically a walking neon sign pointing out that he took it up the ass, which he really didn't fucking want.

But this baby was all he had left of Ian. The thought of throwing it away like Ian threw him away? It made Mickey wrap his arms around his belly protectively every time. He couldn't do it.

"That's cool, man. I'm gonna be an uncle, like for real this time," was all Iggy said when Mickey finally told him his decision.

It wasn't that easy though. They were barely keeping the house as it was with their three fuckhead brothers in the wind, Mandy in Indiana, and Terry still in prison. Svetlana and Yevgeny had fucked off to the Ball's house which meant two less mouths to feed, but one less income. Iggy had never held down a legitimate job a day in his life but did okay between drug deals and gun running. Mickey had started running his own schemes but then all that shit with Ian went down. It's not like he could keep doing that stuff when he started showing anyway.

So he sucked it up and went to Linda. He hadn't spoken to the woman in years, but he knew she still ran the Kash and Grab, minus Kash, who had never come back. She wasn't thrilled to see him, until he made a joke about how they had both been left behind while pregnant. He felt kind of bad playing that card, but he needed a real job. One with stability and only a small probability of gunfire. 

"One packet of gum goes missing and you're fired," Linda said once they had signed all the paperwork, causing Mickey to feel an intense wave of deja vu. "And no crying on the job."

"Fuck, I'm not crying," Mickey said, swiping his palms against his eyes. "Fucking hormones."

"Get used to it, kid," Linda said, but this time with a kind smile, one that made it even harder to hold back the tears.

**

With his first paycheck, Mickey went to the clinic. He didn't even know how far along he was for sure, he was just guessing. He was just barely starting to show. It was like one day his stomach was as flat as it's ever been, next day this little bump appeared. Mickey found himself cupping it all the time and then getting embarrassed that he was doing it. 

The doctor asked him a bunch of invasive questions about his sexual history, shook her head in disbelief when he told her he'd never gotten the test done at puberty, took a bunch of blood, made him pee in a cup, and then had him sit there until some of the results were ready. Mickey stared at the charts showing the stages of pregnancy for both genders and he felt completely overwhelmed. He couldn't do this. Not without--

"Well, you're definitely pregnant," the doctor said as she came back in with a clipboard. "But you also have gonorrhea. I'm going prescribe an antibiotic for that. Make sure you take the full course. We want to clear that up as soon as possible."

Mickey was sure his heart stopped. "I have what?"

She handed him a prescription. "It's an STI. You should notify any of your recent sexual partners."

"Fuck," Mickey swore.

The rest of the appointment was kind of a blur. Somehow he ended up in a Walgreens staring at prenatal vitamins while he worked up the nerve to give the prescription to the pharmacy. When he finally did, he couldn't look the pharmacist in the eye.

**

Mickey stood in front of the Gallagher's house, paralyzed. This is where Ian broke up with him. Out of habit, Mickey cupped his belly with one palm. The other hand twitched; giving up smoking had been a bitch and a half but he wanted to be better than his own mother, better than Svetlana and every other mother in the 'hood who all smoked and drank through their pregnancies. The front door slammed open and someone jogged down the steps. Mickey looked up but it wasn't Ian, it was the other one. Lip. 

"The fuck are you doing here?" Lip asked as he lit up a cigarette. 

"Is Ian in there?" Mickey forced himself to ask.

Lip looked him up and down, eyes lingering on where Mickey was still touching his belly. "Nah, man. He took off again."

"Fuck." Mickey kicked the fence. He wanted to scream and cry, but not in front of this asshole. So he turned and walked away.

"Hey wait," Lip said as he came up beside Mickey. "I'm probably going to regret asking, but what the fuck's up with you?"

Mickey stopped and turned to face Lip. "Your selfish cunt of a brother left a couple of things behind."

Lip tilted his head slightly. "Well just give it to me then, I guess."

"You're going to have to wait about six months on the one and the other, I don't know, can you get The Clap from a blow job? If so, feel free to suck my dick," Mickey spat out.

"Holy shit," Lip gaped. 

Mickey walked away before anything else could come out that fuckhead's smart mouth.

**

"The fuck do you want?"

Iggy.

"Your brother here?"

Lip.

"Which one?"

"C'mon, man. You know which one."

Mickey sat up in bed, dry swallowed his antibiotic and his vitamins, and then waited. Sure enough, Lip and Iggy came into his room. They stood there and stared at him like he was some exhibit in the zoo. Mickey resisted the urge to yank the sheets up to cover himself further. He wasn't wearing a shirt so the tiny swell of his belly was obvious.

"Jesus," Lip said. He walked over to the nightstand and picked up the bottles sitting there, examining them and then putting them back down. "So you're keeping it then."

It wasn't a question, so Mickey didn't bother to answer. Iggy came and sat down on the edge of the bed, near Mickey's feet. He had been around a lot more since the pregnancy test. Making Mickey food and even cleaning shit occasionally. Who knew he had it in him?

"I don't know where Ian went," Lip finally said, turning to look Mickey in the eye. "But that kid you're carrying is a Gallagher so--"

Mickey snorted. "Your brother dropping a load in me doesn't make this kid a Gallagher. It makes me a fucking idiot for letting him, but I'm not about to let you fucking Gallaghers screw this kid up."

Lip recoiled, clearly not expecting that response. Iggy grimaced for obvious reasons. Mickey kicked the sheets off himself. 

"I've gotta piss." He pushed past Lip and headed into the bathroom. Fucking Gallaghers.

**

Mickey had thought all the puking was the worst thing about being pregnant, but he was wrong. Now that he was in his second trimester, he was horny as a motherfucker. All the fucking time. He woke up hard as a rock and felt a low grade level of arousal the rest of the day. He hadn't jerked it this much since he discovered what his dick was for. He tried fingering himself and even pulled out his old box of sex toys. But it wasn't enough. He needed to get fucked. By a man with a real cock.

But he wasn't sure that he could just go out there and find some some guy to fuck though. The Clap was cleared up so it wasn't that. It was how he was showing a lot more now though. Unless he wore a bunch of baggy layers, it was completely obvious. He didn't want to end up with some weirdo with a pregnancy fetish either.

He was contemplating trying to figure out how Grindr even worked when Lip came storming into the house carrying a box. He dumped it on the coffee table in front of Mickey.

"Stuff for the baby."

Mickey glanced inside the box. Diapers mostly. Those things are fucking expensive, so even though Mickey wanted to pick the box up and toss it at Lip's head, he refrained. 

"Didn't I tell you I want nothing to do with you?" Mickey asked instead. 

Lip shoved his hands in his jean pockets and kind of shrugged. "Figured a couple of months was more than enough time for you to cool down."

"Well I guess you've done your good deed for the year so you can fuck off now, Phillip."

Mickey heaved himself off the couch. Lip grabbed at Mickey's arms, helping him up. It was getting harder and harder to get out of bed or off the couch these days. Fucking embarrassing is what it was. Mickey pushed Lip away. 

"I just want to help. Since Ian isn't here and all," Lip said, all earnest and shit. 

"Oh yeah?" Mickey smirked. "I need help with something, but I don't think you're up for the task."

"What is it?" Lip looked around. "You want me to put a crib together or buy you pickles and ice cream or some shit?"

"No, I need to get fucked."

Lip froze for a second, then slowly turned to meet Mickey's eyes. Mickey stared right back. He wasn't serious. Of course he wasn't. It was just fun to mess with the guy. Mickey had to get his entertainment somewhere. 

"Uhh." Lip ran a hand through his curls. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Mickey laughed. "I'm just yanking your chain. Jesus."

He walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer. Ice cream did sound good right about then. He grabbed the half gallon of Moose Tracks sitting in there and a spoon. A clean one even. Lip was still standing there when Mickey turned back around. 

"What? You want some?" Mickey opened the lid on the ice cream and jammed the spoon in, not willing to wait for it to defrost a bit. He brought the spoon up to his mouth, turning it upside down so he could get every last drop off of it. 

"No." Lip cleared his throat. He stepped into the kitchen, practically in Mickey's space. His eyes flitted down to Mickey's belly. "Can I touch it?"

Mickey jammed another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth to give himself a second. He thought he wouldn't have to worry about this invasive shit until he was farther along. Still, he was dying for any kind of non-familial touch. So he kind of nodded and shrugged at the same time. Lip reached out slowly and placed his palm against the curve of Mickey's belly. Mickey took the spoon out of his mouth and set it and the ice cream carton on the counter. He placed his palm over Lip's and guided his hand to where he had felt the baby kicking earlier.

"Is that?" Lip looked at Mickey with awe in his eyes. 

"Yeah, she's gotten pretty active in there," Mickey answered. 

"It's a girl," Lip grinned. "I'm gonna have a niece?"

"What did I tell you about that shit?" 

Lip dropped his hand and stepped back. "I'll be back tomorrow," he called over his shoulder as he walked out.

"No you fucking won't!" Mickey called after him as the door slammed shut.

**

But he did come back the next day, and the day after that, until he was there every day. Iggy joked about how Lip might as well just move in. Except Lip didn't take it as a joke and showed up with a duffle bag one day. It was one thing for the guy to help out with money and baby supplies, and getting the nursery set-up, but it was another thing for him to just move in. 

"Where are you even going to sleep?" Mickey asked from the doorway of the nursery, which used to be Mandy's room. Lip was in the process of painting the walls a soft yellow. Baby girl or not, no way was he about to have to look at fucking pink walls every day. 

"Your couch isn't that bad."

"You know, it's not out of the realm of possibility that this baby was conceived on that couch," Mickey smirked. Totally not true, but that couch had seen a lot of action. 

Lip looked over and smirked back. "Good thing it's leather and I Clorox'd the shit out of it then."

There was apparently no winning with this guy. He was just as stubborn as his brother. Mickey rubbed at his chest. As always even the thought of Ian was painful. The baby was due in a few weeks and Ian still wasn't home. Even if he did come home, he probably wouldn't want anything to do with Mickey or the baby.

"Hey." Lip moved in front of Mickey and touched his cheeks. It was only then that Mickey realized he was crying. He wanted to blame the pregnancy hormones, but no, once again Mickey found himself crying like a bitch over Ian fucking Gallagher. 

"Fuck," Mickey swore, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them again, Lip was still there, watching him with more concern in his eyes than Ian had ever shown. Lip slid his hands into Mickey's hair and then they were kissing. 

It was slow and gentle, even a bit hesitant, until it wasn't. Lip backed Mickey down the hall until they were in Mickey's bedroom. He was so gentle. Mickey wasn't used to gentle, but he went with it. Lip helped Mickey lie on his side, the only position that worked what with Mickey being the size of a whale now and all, and kept his hands on Mickey's belly the whole time they fucked. After, Lip slid down and rested his head on Mickey's hip.

"I'm going to take care of you," Lip murmured.

Mickey didn't know if he meant the baby or both of them. He couldn't help but hope for the latter. 

**

Of course Mickey had to go into labor while he was working a shift at the Kash and Grab. Linda happened to be there to sign for a delivery, thank fuck.

"Just breathe," Linda coaxed. "It's your first one. It won't come for hours. Your water hasn't even broken yet."

"Fuck that," Mickey spit out. "No way am I having a baby on the floor of this place."

Linda rolled her eyes. "Fine, who do you want me to call?"

"Lip, Lip Gallagher."

She ended up calling an ambulance instead, because that's when Mickey's water broke. Mickey had been beaten, pistol whipped, and shot, but nothing compared to this pain. He wished someone would just give him some fucking drugs already. By the time Lip and Iggy got there, Mickey had bitched out every nurse on the floor. 

"Hey, we're here," Lip said as he grabbed Mickey's hand. He trailed off in a yelp when Mickey made a valiant effort to crush his fingers.

Iggy grimaced. "I'll go get a doctor or something."

When the doctor came back, everything went both too fast and too slow. The pain was excruciating but when his daughter was put in his arms, none of that mattered. Her hair was dark, her eyes blue, her skin pale with a smattering of freckles.

"Jeez, she almost looks like a copy of you when you were a baby, Mick," Iggy said.

"She's got Ian's chin though," Lip laughed. 

"Just what I need," Mickey muttered.

"So what's her name?" Iggy asked. 

"Her name is Kateryna Zhanna, but we'll call her Kat."

Iggy raised his eyebrow at Mickey. Kateryna was their mother's middle name. Zhanna was their grandmother's first name and Mandy's middle name, but it's also the female version of Ivan, which is the Ukrainian equivalent of Ian. 

"Keeping the hard to spell long ass Ukrainian name tradition alive, huh?" is all Iggy said though, thankfully. 

"Uh, what're your names then?" Lip asked them. 

"This here is Mikhailo Aleksandr," Iggy answered pointing to Mickey, "and I'm none of your fucking business."

"He's just pissed because he got saddled with Ingvar Zenoviy," Mickey grinned.

"Our mom wanted to keep the traditions from the old country alive." Iggy shrugged. "And fuckface was in jail for every single one of our births."

Iggy and Lip went on to banter about what sibling in each of their families was born when and where, but Mickey tuned them out. She was here. His last little piece of Ian. Even if it seemed like maybe he could build something with Lip, Ian would always be his first love, and Mickey was grateful to have this part of him, of both of them.


End file.
